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Kiss of the Keyholder Diaries PDF Print E-mail
Written by Marquesa   
Saturday, 17 October 2009 18:11
Dear Mistress Marquesa,

I just wanted to say how great an impression Your Kiss of the Keyholder has made on me.

As soon as the file was finished I felt something like an invisible "container" around my genitals but nothing really else. I had and have the feeling that something they are foreign in that they didn't really respond to me or at least were not mine to control. However I was aroused after Your trance and when I went to touch myself I couldn't and indeed have not been able to since then i.e. last night. It is a strange feeling. When I have the idea to touch myself I am unable to hang onto the idea and it dissipates and I don't touch. It is as if I get a subliminal instruction not to touch and unconsciously I obey however this happens just outside my ability to understand.

I was right when I thought that this file would give You great power and control. I have never experienced anything like this before in my life.

As a matter of fact I have just listened to the file again and feel two main feelings.

1.. The "container" seems to fit even tighter now and my inability to touch myself is stronger.

2. I feel more greatly focussed on You, indeed You and Your voice seem hardly to really disappear from my head.

This is a very powerful experience for me but somehow things feel as if they are how they must be although I don't know where they are headed.

I do feel very much in Your hands in this.

Thomas

 

30.09

Dear Mistress,

I have now listened to the file 3 times and am enjoying listening more and more. Each time the container around my genitals gets even more impenetrable if that is possible. I know they are there but have no way to feel them as a part of me. I do feel arousal, even intensely at times, but cannot do anything about it. I am keeping busy to take my mind off it but You keep returning all the time into my head and so it makes it difficult.

I do hear Your voice most often in my head now.

Thomas


01.10
Dear Mistress,

I listen now once each day to Your file and the effects grow exponentially each time.

Your chastity belt is now very firmly in place and these is clearly no escape from it.

I know also that I must buy a physical belt and will certainly do but do I have Your permission to take a little time as I am still getting used to the iron grip of Your mental belt?

I am now completely unable to touch myself in any way and even the thought dissipates very quickly from my mind. I must admit some tension is building but I am sure You will tell me when it is appropriate what will happen next. The tension does push You and Your voice into my conscious mind all the time. I think of little but You and I hear Your voice very often. One phrase seems to repeat again and again "My will is stronger than your will".

You wrote: "And all this after your first interactive listening susceptibility sessions" .   

 
I thought long on this and thought maybe the very fast effect had a lot to do with my wishing it to be true, but perhaps this is what hypnosis is about. It still does not seem to alter the very real power Your voice has over me nor my ever growing need to obey You. I don't know if I am a good subject but sound has a very great influence on me. I enjoy to sit in an environment where there is quiet except for quiet noises e.g. pages being turned in books in a library. With some sounds I feel myself relax all over and Your voice is one of those very rare ones which has an immediate and powerful effect on me and I respond wholly to Your magic.

A good subject? As I said I don't know but I once had a tape where the hypnotherapist used a trigger word and after only a few times listening I would wait very impatiently for her to use the word and then I would feel an almost ecstatic feeling of relaxation and calm so I think I do react very strongly to the right person and voice.

 Thomas


03.10

Dear Mistress Marquesa,

Firstly thank You for the permission to take a little time to get used to Your virtual belt before I purchase a physical belt. This is very new for me but I am adjusting to my New Life quite quickly I think.

It is true when You say that I cannot escape but even more so when You say I don't want to escape. I thought about this and realised that that, strange as it seems, is becoming my truth, that in fact I have a growing want to be locked up with You as my Keyholder.

It is a New Life indeed.

I am not sure quite what You mean about the interactive listening. I will elaborate a little on the effect Keyholder now has on me. Up to the Kiss I am fairly clear what is happening although Your voice seems to wind around my mind and I find it hard to think. However after the Kiss much gets lost in a swirl of mist. I hear Your voice, it is everywhere in my head and mind but I don't always understand. I am aware that my body is completely immobile and I couldn't move if I wanted which I don't. With each listening my need to obey increases rapidly and Your presence and voice take up an even greater role in my mind while I seem to be relegated simply to passive acceptance. My pleasure at listening to Your voice and obeying grows also rapidly so I want more and more to listen to the file and so I go in a circle with the effect getting greater each time I go around.

I do also know that I must purchase a Belt and will do so.

When You release me from the trance I look at the clock and am aware from somewhere of the 24 hours but my need to hear the tape again never allows me to get to 24. I did try at first but I couldn't. I hope this is not somehow lessening the effect of the file.

I am beginning to see the tension more positively and find when I work for You it becomes easier.

Lady Krystal asked me when was the last time I came and it is last Sunday when I listened to Hypnotic Hotel. Since I listened to Keyholder on Monday I haven't. When I look at it 5-6 days seem like a very short time but much has happened to me in the during those days as I start on a New Life.

You wrote: " it turns Me on to know you are such a prime subject and just for Moi!"

This line gives me a feeling of great pleasure.

 Thomas
 

04.10

Your voice and presence in my head/mind are ever increasing and a source of calm for me. Often I hear Your beautiful voice speaking though I can't quite grasp what You are saying, however the exquisite softness and sensuality is enough for me.

I listen to Your Keyholder file at least once a day and I know it would be impossible not to list everyday.

In short I am very happy with where I am and hope that with greater devotion to You my lot will only get better.

 

12.10

Mistress, I listen to Your Keyholder file everyday, usually at least twice, and I now hear Your voice in my head most of the time. Your voice repeats phrases over and over and over so they become simply part of my mind. Key phrases such as my obsessive obedience to You. There is Your image of a direct and permanent connection between Your mind and mind and because Your will is so much stronger than mine then You control and dominate my mind and body. These images and phrases I hear very very often. Also I am wholly unable to touch myself in any sexual way and that now for just over two weeks; my sexuality is also under Your control. I have a growing feeling that this is all correct and exactly as it should be and that it is completely natural and proper that I offer You always complete obedience and I will of course follow all Your orders.

This is all a very long way from 3 weeks ago. my New Life opens before me and I look forward to it with great anticipation and curiosity.


Thomas
Last Updated on Saturday, 17 October 2009 18:18
 
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